100percentappropriate:

folkinz:

The best advice we’ve ever gotten from Joan Holloway

On self-awareness

“Go home, take a paper bag, cut some eye-holes out of it. Put it over your head, get undressed and look at yourself in the mirror. Really evaluate where your strengths and weaknesses are. And be honest.”

On how to win an argument

Greg: I don’t want to fight right now.
Joan: Then stop talking.

On how to deal with your emotions

“This is why I don’t allow crying in the break room — it erodes morale. There’s a place to do that — like your apartment.”

On achieving your goals

“I said congratulations, didn’t I? Although, sometimes when people get what they want, they realize how limited their goals were.”

On the importance of a good delivery

Peggy: Maybe I should go and thank them? I’m not really dressed — tomorrow, maybe?
Joan: No need, they wanted me to tell you, they were very specific about it.
Peggy: Oh.
Joan: Well, you know what they say: “The medium is the message.”

On earning the respect of your peers

“You want to be taken seriously? Stop dressing like a little girl.”

On making the most of what you’ve got

“Look dear, I don’t know you that well, but you’re the new girl — and you’re not much — so you might as well enjoy it while it lasts.”

On what men really want

Roger: I’m just getting tired of all the sneaking around. Aren’t you?
Joan: Roger, I know as much about men as you know about advertising, and I know that the sneaking around is your favorite part.

On human pettiness

“People should not bring their personal problems into the office. Is it so hard to just leave everything at the door and just do your job? They can’t stand it. They’ll drag you into the garbage out there. They just want you to be as miserable as they are. I say, let them have it.”

On how to win a man’s heart

Kinsey: Did you like the play?
Joan: No.
Kinsey: The meaner you are, the more I like you.
Joan: I know.